(Because Kevin LaFontaine is a dick!)

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Reason #66 To Dont Trust Kevin LaFontaine

His credit rating leaves a lot to be desired.

Saturday, May 23, 2009

Why To Dont Trust Kevin LaFontaine As It Relates to Iron Eagle

In thinking of the many reasons to Dont Trust Kevin LaFontaine, one thing is becoming more clear. Kevin LaFontaine is a real life version of Knotcher from Iron Eagle. I'll explain:

You know how in the beginning of Iron Eagle, Knotcher is portrayed as a dick. He's a low grade villian but not a real threat so Doug Masters is annoyed by him but thats about it. But Knotcher keeps being a dick and eventually Doug Masters has to race him in a airplane. The way this story parallels my experiences with Kevin LaFontaine is frightening. Well, it turns out that Doug Masters was going to win but somehow, Knotcher found a way to betray him. Much like Kevin LaFontaine betrayed me. But in the end the good guy (Doug Masters, btw) found a way to win the race and then he was able to punch out Knotcher.

The way my blog about Dont Trust Kevin LaFontaine matches Iron Eagle leaves no doubt that in the end I will win and probably get to punch out Kevin LaFontaine. Victory will be totally sweet.

Reason #65 To Dont Trust Kevin LaFontaine

His personal profanity filter is stuck in the off position.

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Reason #65 To Dont Trust Kevin LaFontaine

He is useless in PvP.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Reason #64 To Dont Trust Kevin LaFontaine

If he adds you on Twitter and you do not reciprocate he gets offended.

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Reason #63 To Dont Trust Kevin LaFontaine

He doesn't seem to care about Darfur.

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Reason #62 To Dont Trust Kevin LaFontaine

He insists on watering his lawn during peak daylight hours, meaning if we were having a drought, he would be exacerbating it.

Monday, May 11, 2009

Reason #61 To Dont Trust Kevin LaFontaine

When he is peeling an orange, he will pick off pieces of that white tissue and leave them on the arm of your couch.

Sunday, May 10, 2009

Kevin LaFontaine is SUCH a SLOB

I have visual evidence. I submit to you, exhibit A:



See those little brown spots on the carpet? Thats right. They're MOUSE TURDS. Thats what his floor looks like. Also I think there is a empty birth control prescription which begs the question that only Kevin LaFontaine can answer:

Kevin LaFontaine, are you taking estrogen?

What a dick he is.

Saturday, May 9, 2009

Reason #60 To Dont Trust Kevin LaFontaine

He always gums up the mouse ball.

Reason #59 To Dont Trust Kevin LaFontaine

He does not make prudent financial decisions.

Reason #58 To Dont Trust Kevin LaFontaine

You know that kid from Moody's gang that always feathered his hair back and wore the Ace Frehley aviator shades? Kevin LaFontaine bases his life around that kids teachings.

Reason #57 To Dont Trust Kevin LaFontaine

He doesn't think Patti Russo is very hot.

Reason #56 To Dont Trust Kevin LaFontaine

He doesn't feed his animals regularly.

Monday, May 4, 2009

Kevin LaFontaine And The Curious Case of The Booger on The Handset

One time before we had our falling out, Kevin LaFontaine was at my place with some of the guys playing PS2 and eating pizza.

It was Friday.

Well, my phone rang and it was some dude who wanted to speak with Kevin LaFontaine, who just happened to be there. So I gave the handset to Kevin LaFontaine.

He talked for a while and then hung up. Nobody thought anything of it.

10 minutes later the phone rang again. I went to pick it up and discovered there was a booger right on the mouth piece. It was cold to the touch but still moist.

There was no question that the only possible source for this booger was Kevin LaFontaine.